You have me
by TheJadedRebellion
Summary: I can't take this anymore- the ever bearing thought that I'd be living not just as Jade, but also as crazy. (Listen to Voices by Saosin(acoustic ) for proper setting) Cade CatXJade Jat One-Shot


Shutting my eyes, I clenched bundles of dark hair, balling my ivory hands into tight fists. I brought my knees to my chest, shielding myself in an upwards fetal position. Shaking my head, I could feel her eyes on me, brown eyes burning through my exposed flesh.

"You hear them...don't you?'' her voice spoke, hoarse and hushed. I could tell she didn't want to scare me off. No, she knew from past experiences that I would just close up again, becoming unresponsive.

_You're a coward, look at her! You're so selfish, here she is hurting and you're turning away again. She doesn't need this. She doesn't need you!_

I tugged on my hair, yanking forward .

'' Shut. Up! '' I hissed through gritted teeth. I instantly regretted saying anything, as I felt Cat jerk away at my tone. I was scaring her, and I couldn't blame her, I was becoming afraid of myself aswell. These, ''_episodes_'', were starting to happen more often. I would find myself so high, like my body was drugged on endorphins, adrenaline coursing its way through my veins then the next minute, so low, I felt as if nothing mattered. Like I could feel the numb creeping up my skin, leaving tiny Goosebumps in its quake, resonating in my very own void.

Sighing, I pushed myself from the bedding, walking to the bedside table to pull out the _bottle._ My crazy pills, because that's what I am, right? Crazy? They think so, because apparently you're not supposed to hear voices. Not supposed to hear their screams. Not supposed to hear their angry whispers, telling you just how worthless you are, how no one really cares...Telling you just how alone you really are.

_You were always alone, Jade. _

I flinched, gripping the bottle in my palm. Taking a deep breath in hopes of calming my nerves, I unscrewed the bottles cap, pulling out the substance. My eyes traced the small white line that decorated the pill. This was my only hope of sanity. Twisting the drug in my finger tips, I brought it to my lips, swallowing. The faint whispers began to grow hush, becoming silent.

I cleared my throat, my back still faced to Cat.

''You know,'' I started, my voice slightly breaking. "I'm afraid too.''

I finally turned around, my breath hitching, as I caught sight of Cat. Her red hair pulled back into a pony tail to reveal wet cheeks and brown eyes fused with droplets of blue. Her eyes looked confused and apologetic, she almost reminded me of a child. Her innocence was radiating off her tan skin, filling the room with an odd aura. It was almost like her way of subconsciously telling me she was too pure to handle sorrow like this. Like me.

I watched as she rose from my bed, hesitantly shuffling towards me. As she got an inch too close, but I couldn't care less, she's seen me vulnerable, nothing of mine was too personal for her now. She raised her hand tracing the curve of my cheek, stopping at my lips. Her thumb rubbing the skin of my mouth. Slowly she leaned forward, kissing me gently.

Pulling back, she pecked the corner of my mouth, slow and tentative. I heard her sigh as she rested her head in the crook of my neck, hugging my torso close to her body.

''I'm not scared.'' she whispered, kissing the crease of my neck before moving to look me in the eyes. ''I'm worried. Worried about you Jadey.'' She emphasized the 'you', as if she was trying to prove to me she really did care.

I caught a glimpse of unshed tears in those brown eyes before she moved her head down, blocking my gaze. She was visibly shivering from trying so hard to hold back tears. Running my hand up her arm, I reeled her into me, squeezing lightly when she hiccupped.

''Hey,'' I whispered. ''Shouldn't I be the one having a nervous breakdown. I am crazy after all, right?" I lightly laughed, in hopes of stealing a giggle or two, from her.

Immediately Cat pulled back, staring hard into my blue eyes. ''You are not crazy," she spoke, her glare never wavering. ''I'm serious Jade, you're not. People just don't understand you right now bu-"

''And by shoving pills down my throat, they will?!" I was now glaring just as intensely, back. Ripping her hands from my waist, I stepped back, creating distance between us.

"This," I motioned to myself and my surroundings. "Isn't going to get much better Cat. It'll be the same tomorrow, five years from now, forever as long as I'm living."

I stumbled over to my dresser, gripping the wood while peering into the built-in mirror. I looked so fucking reckless. My eyes were rimmed with red and glossy tears.

''I'll never get better..'' I choked out, my voice barely audible.

"Jadey," I felt the caress of her dainty hand on my shoulder. "We're in this together. I'll always be here, no matter what. I'm not leaving, never." I heaved with sobs as she laid her head against my upper back.

I wanted to believe her. She wasn't going to leave, and I knew that, but I just can't help but still be afraid . Because _they'll _always be here too. I won't be able to escape my own pessimism. Sure the meds made me at ease, but that was only temporary. Sooner or later, _they'd _be back eating at me, breaking me. I'd have Cat to keep, but would she ever really have me, and not just the voices?

* * *

**A/N: So I was just in one of those depressing moods, you know, evaevaluating life itself. Well I wanted to write, but if I wrote for my other stories it'd fuck them up, having a randomly depressing chapter. So here we have this one-shot, in which was inspired by Saosin's Voices the acoustic version.**

**Review if you liked the story, they're appreaciated.**

**Stay Rad**

** -TJR**


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